Deep Thoughts on Parenting...

Disclaimer: Parenting is such a wide and sensitive topic, and this is only one small section of the subject...

Being a teacher of preschool aged children, and having much interaction with the different ages throughout the last 7 years, I have come to realize that every parent does their job very differently. Some parents are considered overbearing, overprotective, or worry too much, and still other parents are unstructured, undisciplined, or too lenient with their kids. Where is the line, and where is is drawn in our assumptions of how others "love" their kids? Have you ever found yourself saying "If that was my kid, they wouldn't behave like that!", or "Wow, they're a bit too hard on their kids, lighten up!". I do not believe there is only one way to parent every child because every child is different and every child, yes-even those in the same family, require different discipline and parenting techniques because what works with one, may or may not work with another. With all that in mind, I have found myself wondering what drives some parents to choose the methods they do, or what makes some parents more inclined to handle situations drastically different from what I would consider to be a normal reaction. I can't help but think that in so many cases, a child's action or reaction to something may directly be related to how the parent's actions or reactions to those instances affect them. Now, I can't go into details on the situations that prompt me to write this post, obviously, but I will generalize it as best I can. I will place myself into the parenting roles here and critique it that way.
I consider myself to be a very protective parent. I am very cautious about what "worldly" influences come in contact with my children...music, TV, movies, Internet, the language we/they use, the clothes they wear, the holidays we choose to acknowledge, etc. Examples: I am very cautious about what friends (and their families) my children are allowed to spend time with away from my supervision (like spend the night parties, play dates, etc) I am very cautious about what clothing my kids wear...call me crazy if you must, but I simply do not believe my 7 year old girl needs to wear "attitude" shirts with sayings like "It's all about ME". For holidays, yes, we love them and celebrate them, including Halloween...but I do not choose to celebrate the "scary" part of Halloween with skeletons, grave stones, or anything bloody or Gothic looking. For Christmas, we do celebrate Santa bringing gifts, but we have taught our children that without the birth of Jesus, we would have no reason to celebrate...there would be no Christmas at all! Same for Easter...yes it's fun to see the Easter Bunny, and believe that he hides eggs for kids to find but even at this young age of my children, they are aware that Jesus died on the cross, but we celebrate his RESURRECTION on Easter. But I also consider myself to be a "laid back" parent in the way that I don't panic at every little thing my kids do, say, or react to. For instance, if they hear something that I consider inappropriate on TV, I don't necessarily shut the TV off and forbid them from ever watching that program, or television in general again, instead I have taken those as teaching moments for my child and explain to them why it's not acceptable in our home. There are certain words I don't like for my kids to use that are widely accepted in today's social culture, and in other families. Example: The word "hate" for me is too strong a word to hear from such a small child, even if they are only saying "I hate broccoli". In my adult life, I realize how strong HATE is when I look at the world and how religions, politics, prejudice are born from hate, so I do not want to teach my child that hate is OK in any form. But that also puts accountability on myself, and I have to change my vocabulary so that I am not the bad influence on my child. And boy does that sting sometimes!
For me, I feel like at this stage of their life, Megan at age 7 and in second grade, and Ryan at age 4 in K4, this is where mother bird starts learning to let go. I have to teach my children how to fly. I have to teach them how to function in a world that will not love and protect them as I do. I have to teach them that there are outside influences that will present themselves and they have to know the right choice to make. Basically, I have to teach my children that they are in the world, but not OF the world. (1John 4:4-6 ESV says, "Little Children, you are from God and have overcome them [the world], for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world;therefore they speak from the world and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.")
Conclusion:
I can not control what type of kids my children come in contact with at school-even a christian school, or church for that matter, but I can keep an open mind and try to see what it is that the Lord has planned for my child to learn from them, or to learn about themselves through interaction with them, or better yet, what my child can teach the others around them-which means that one of my jobs as a Mom is to teach them a loving diversity of their peers so that the influence my child has on those around him/her is a positive one. But it does not mean I should second guess my values or accept someone else's way of doing things just because the world says it's what is right. It doesn't give me a right to place judgement on others for their way of parenting, but I do have the right to protect my child should he/she be placed in a situation where their well being is put in any question.
I'm sure this sounds very random, and perhaps the purpose of this blog is just for me, so that I can jot down my thoughts on what is going on behind this post....(which, don't worry, it doesn't directly deal with me or my children, but is affecting others around me). I guess the most important job of any and all parents when raising their kids is to seek wise counsel from first and foremost our Creator, and secondly from other believers who are parents. And lastly, take what you've learned and share it....God brought you to it for a reason, and that is not to harm you, but to teach you and to teach and minister to others.