She listened to the "Bad Angel"

Kindergarten is a fun, wonderful thing for my 6 year old. She is learning so much. She attends a private school that is nearby and has been at that school since she was 2 years old. She loves school so much and literally hates to miss it. They are on such a structured schedule that she can tell me exactly what she's missing out on if she happens to fall ill during the week. Her favorite is Friday, when the class plays "bingo". She hates missing bingo on Fridays. Even if it means going on a vacation! I guess one could say that speaks volumes to the nurturing, loving, atmosphere her teacher has provided. I however, discovered another example just this week.

My daughter gets in the car on Thursday amid looming black clouds and tornado threats among us. I usually start our car conversations off with "How was your day?", but I was distracted this particular day with impending doom set by weather forecasts. Halfway into our very short drive home, my daughter informs me that her apple went to the teacher's desk. (The apple is a form of behavior management in the classroom. One warning, the apple falls from the tree top to the trunk, then it would fall to the doggie bowl by the tree, and then to the basket on the teachers desk, who then sends home a note asking for help in discipline). I must say that I was quite surprised and taken aback when she told me this. I asked her why and she immediately began crying and whining. We decided to talk about it when we got home, mainly because I couldn't understand a word she was saying and it's hard to concentrate on driving when there is that distraction in the car! After arriving home, I looked in her book bag and found the note from the teacher which was attached to a green piece of fabric. The fabric turned out to be the slip covered "chair pocket" that holds their book at school. For some reason, her 6 year old brain used 2 year old reasoning and she took out a crayon or marker and drew on the back of it. The teacher asked in the note that she be the one to spray the "shout" on the stain and wash the drawing out. I, the Mom, talked with her, the daughter in the most loving and calm manner possible, because I knew I'd loose her to the crying and whining again if we moved directly into punishment. Here is our conversation:

"What made you decide to draw on that?" Mom asks

"I don't know" Child responds

"What is the rule we have about using crayons, markers, pens and pencils?" Mom pursues

"Draw only on paper" Child answers (HA! I HAVE HER NOW, SHE KNOWS THE RULE!!!)

"So why did you break the rule?" Mom probes again.

"I think my brain just wasn't working and I listened to the bad angel" My child honestly and very matter-of-factly responds.


I just about lost it. It is those moments that I have the hardest time keeping a straight face. I have to be stern....stoic....solemn. Don't break. Don't crack! This is a serious moment that I could totally loose if I smile, or laugh even the least little bit!

I regain composure quickly.

"Honey, you made a bad choice"

"I know, it was the bad angel"

"There is a consequence for making bad choices, do you know what that means?"

"No"

"It means you get into trouble, and loose privileges when you decide to do the wrong thing"

Immediately, she envisions loosing all of her prized possessions as if being thrown into a prison cell!

"I'm sorry Mom, don't take my toys away, PLEASE!" She begs.

Well, suffice it to say, she did loose the privilege of her crayons, markers, pens and pencils here at home for the day. I told her she had to "earn" them back. The punishment did take place in school when the apple fell (which broke her heart, and struck her with a fierce blade of fear because she knew Mom would find out), and a note came home and she was made to clean and wash the chair pocket. But Mom added one more bit to her punishment. She wrote an apology letter to the teacher explaining that she was sorry for writing on the pocket and she wouldn't do it again. The next day when I asked her if she gave her letter to the teacher, she smiled so big and said "Yes! And my teacher hugged me and said "It's OK, all is forgiven!" and then told me she loved me!" Her teacher DOES love her, I believe that. My 6 year old knew she'd made a bad choice (by listening to the bad angel), and through love, her teacher helped her realize that!

Today, my child came home and told me that she listened to the good angel today and she didn't get her apple moved! BOY AM I GRATEFUL!
J